My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
