if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
