I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
