i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
