He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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