I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
