it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
