I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
