it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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