...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
