I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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