she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
