On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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