if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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