matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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