He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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