The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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