yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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