I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
