70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
