i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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