Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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