I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
