Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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