Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
