its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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