google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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