what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize