She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ketchup is God's man juice
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
