I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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