Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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