remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
