is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Best friends brother. Beat that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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