hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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