what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
