OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
