he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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