Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
