I'm drive I can fine osifer
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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