I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
