i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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