he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
