Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
