no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
