in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
