Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I could fuck to npr.
false alarm, still single
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
