Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
