dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
