We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
