I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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