Kiss
Puke
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
