and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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