it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize