shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
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