Dual....:-)
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
