Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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