He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
