He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
