my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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