Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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