i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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