are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
