so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
