Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize