Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize