stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
