paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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