its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
