Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize