I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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