Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
