FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
