ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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