apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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