I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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