is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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